Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself About Last Year

When the year comes to a close, it’s easy to sum it up in a single, sweeping sentence:

"It was a failure."
"I didn’t accomplish enough."
"Nothing went right."

These sentences feel neat, even comforting—but they rarely capture the full story. They flatten the year into a single line, erasing quiet perseverance, subtle shifts, and moments that mattered in ways we barely noticed at the time. And yet, there is hope in how the mind works.

Memory is not a video recording. Each time we recall an event, we reconstruct it, coloring it with our current feelings, beliefs, and the story we tell ourselves about who we are. In other words, the story you carry about last year is not fixed—it can be revisited, reshaped, and gently rewritten.

The River of Memory

Think of memory as a river. Each recollection is a ripple across the surface, influenced by the wind of your emotions and the light of your perspective. You may remember struggles more vividly than triumphs, but that does not mean the river contains only storms. Beneath the surface are quiet currents of resilience, persistence, and courage—threads that often go unnoticed until we pause to look.

Take a moment. Breathe. Let the river of your memories flow past. What small moments glimmer beneath the surface, moments of endurance, acts of kindness, tiny steps forward that you might have forgotten?

Science Meets Reflection

Psychologists have found that the act of narrating our experiences changes how we feel about them. Memories are actively reconstructed with each recall, influenced by our emotions and sense of self. This explains why a year can feel “all loss” while quietly containing resilience and growth. 

Moreover, studies show that finding positive meaning in difficult memories can reshape how the brain encodes them, softening emotional intensity and allowing us to hold complexity rather than collapse into judgment. 

Pause here. Notice one memory that feels heavy. Can you imagine it differently, acknowledging struggle but also the endurance or insight it carried? Let yourself linger there.

Hidden Lanterns

Sometimes the victories of the year are like lanterns hidden in the dark. They may not have been visible at the time, but they guided you forward anyway:

• The nights you didn’t give up, even when everything felt heavy.
• The times you said what needed to be said, softly or bravely.
• The small acts of care—for yourself or someone else—that no one else noticed.

Recognizing these hidden wins is not just comforting. It’s scientifically adaptive. Cognitive psychology shows that reframing events in this way can reduce stress and increase emotional resilience. 

Reframing Setbacks as Seeds

Failures and disappointments are threads in the tapestry too—but they are not the whole tapestry. Every misstep carries information, insight, or opportunity. Reflection allows us to see setbacks as seeds for growth, moments where something new began even if it wasn’t visible yet.

Take a breath. Picture a challenge from last year. What did it teach you? How did it shape your endurance, your empathy, or your curiosity? Let it be part of the tapestry, not the entire pattern.

A Meditative Journey

Now, let’s move through your year together:

• Close your eyes. Imagine the year as a winding path, with peaks and valleys, rivers and lanterns.
• Notice the story you’ve been telling yourself.
• Whisper it, without judgment.
• Seek the threads you overlooked: courage, patience, endurance, small victories. Let your mind linger on them.
• Envision a new narrative for the year—a story that includes struggle, but also resilience, learning, and the quiet acts that shaped you.

There is no need to finish it. There is no right or wrong. Simply witness your year fully, with curiosity and compassion.

Carrying the Story Forward

The story you carry about last year will ripple into this one. When it is heavy, it weighs on your energy, your choices, and your sense of possibility. When it is nuanced, compassionate, and honest, it carries lightness, clarity, and quiet confidence.

Rewriting your story is not about erasing the hard parts. It is about honoring what endured, seeing the hidden victories, and stepping into the new year with curiosity, courage, and compassion.

Holding space for your story,

Dr. Lilian O. Ebuoma
The Inspirer