Learning to Ask: What Do I Actually Have the Energy For Right Now?
At the beginning of a new year, there is often a quiet pressure to feel ready. Ready to move. Ready to decide. Ready to begin again with energy and certainty. We’re surrounded by messages that suggest now is the time to push forward, to gather momentum, to start strong.
But sometimes, a gentler question waits underneath all of that noise.
What if strength doesn’t always look like momentum? What if it looks like awareness?
Instead of asking, What should I be doing right now? What if we paused long enough to ask something more honest: What do I actually have the energy for right now?
Listening to What We’ve Learned to Ignore
Many of us were taught, directly or indirectly, to live at a distance from ourselves. To push past fatigue. To override discomfort. To treat rest as something we earn after everything else has been done.
Over time, this disconnection creates a quiet strain. It doesn’t always announce itself loudly. Sometimes it shows up as burnout. Sometimes as irritability. Sometimes as a vague sense of moving through life without really being present in it.
When we ignore our energy for too long, our bodies and minds find other ways to speak.
Exhaustion. Resistance. A dull lack of motivation.
These are not signs of failure. They are forms of communication.
Energy as Information
Asking what you have the energy for is not about giving up or settling for less. It’s about telling the truth. It’s about working with reality instead of fighting against it.
Our energy is not fixed. It shifts with seasons, circumstances, and stages of life. What you once had the capacity for may not be what you have now—and that doesn’t mean something is wrong. It simply means something has changed.
When we begin to honor our energy, our choices soften and deepen at the same time.
We choose presence over performance. Depth over busyness. Integrity over obligation.
And slowly, we begin to see that doing less, when it’s done honestly, often leads to more meaningful outcomes.
A Softer Understanding of Discipline
Many of us learned that discipline means pushing through, no matter the cost. But there is another kind of discipline, one rooted in discernment.
Discernment knows when to act and when to pause. It knows when effort is needed and when gentleness is wiser.
There is a difference between commitment and self-abandonment. Commitment listens. Self-abandonment overrides.
When you ask what you have the energy for, you are not avoiding responsibility. You are choosing to show up in ways that do not require leaving yourself behind.
What the Answer Might Sound Like
Some days, the answer may be simple and quiet:
I have the energy for one meaningful task, not a full list.
I have the energy to be present, but not to over-give.
I have the energy to reflect, not to decide.
I have the energy to rest—and that is enough today.
None of these answers say anything about your worth. They only describe your capacity in this moment.
A Gentler Way to Measure Progress
When we stop measuring progress by how much we’ve forced ourselves to do, we begin to notice different kinds of shifts. We feel less resentful and more present. Boundaries become clearer. Decisions feel truer. Trust in ourselves begins to grow.
Progress becomes less about proving and more about aligning.
An Invitation
As you move through this season, you might return to this question—not as a rule to follow, but as a quiet check-in.
What do I actually have the energy for right now?
Ask it without judgment. Listen without rushing. Respond with care.
You may find that honoring this question doesn’t slow your life down. It steadies it. And in that steadiness, you begin to build a life that feels more grounded, more sustainable, and more your own.
Reflection Questions for You
- When was the last time I paused to notice how much energy I really had?
- Which parts of my life consistently ask more from me than I can give right now?
- Are there tasks or commitments I could approach differently if I aligned them with my current energy?
- What does rest feel like to me, and how often do I allow myself to experience it fully?
- How would my day change if I treated my energy as information rather than a limitation?
- What small step can I take today that honors my capacity without judgment?
With care and encouragement as you move through this season,
Dr. Lilian O. Ebuoma
The Inspirer
